Category Archives: Search of the Weak

the weirdest search terms that lead to our site

search of the weak (pt III): ellen’s girlfriend

guess what i heard!

i think it’s high time that our regular irregulars are put out of their misery and are informed of just what the hell is up with ellen degeneres, her sexuality and her subsequent relationship status. i’m not sure why quite so many people are quite so interested in whether or not she has a gayfriend, a splendid sex toy or a particularly expressive tumble drier, but we certainly do get alot of hits from you flibbertigibbets, quizzing the google oracles about just that. bless you, one and all..

ellen freestyling

ellen busting a rhyme

ok then, to the facts! i can confirm that ellen degeneres is a lesbian. factum. furthermore, i’ll let you in on the not-so-secret that her girlfriend is the unflinchingly lovely and equally comfortable shoe wearing  Portia de Rossi (noted for her preformances as Nelle Porter in Ally McSqueel and Lindsay Bluth Funke in TMC fave Arrested Development). Here is a picture of the lovely couple trying to enjoy their favorite movie, but having to tell the annoying people who keep chatting behind them to shush the hell up!

the happy couple

i have always enjoyed the comical musings of degeneres, as she is suitably whimsical and undaunted by the odd tangent run. if you have ever seen her in stand-up mode, you will know eggsacterly what i’m on about. now she has a TV chat show, like Tyra Banks the SuperModel does, but it’s plenty funnier. Ellen also likes animals, babies and baby animals. and australians, evidently, b’cos your one Portia de Rossi is from Melbourne. and there is another nugget of info for your archives.

just look at this pictue of a baby orangeotan. ellen would go nuts for this little cutie..

babbbeee orangutan

as an italian in japan might be inclined to say, molto kawaii



old man goat herder shenanigans, in better days



***TMC em pee frees***

lesbian seagull – tom wilson

i was dancing in a lesbian bar – jonathan richman






Filed under Cauldron News, Life and Times, MP3 downloads, Search of the Weak

weekend warriors


weekend warriors

gadzooks! what a wild and crazy weekend! with the amazing and wonderfully successful Fleet Rave, the eagerly anticipated Orchid Show, the International Film Festival and TMC good-chum Nessie’s birthday slebrations, many social commentators and other generic detractors & haters were sceptical that The Magic Cauldron could summon the requisite energy and wit to conjour up another glorious slice of cauldron.. but, as the mighty lords and ladies of the Fleetwaves are only too aware, your one mittins and your one shenanigans are nothing if not cunning little badgers, and armed with nothing more than a bag stuffed with treble clefs and E-sharps and other such goodies, we spin some great music with the best (and worst) of them. all. regard; here is our track listing for today. marvel at the wonderful tunes. and if you like, you can click here to listen to it again. does this overt display of friendship make us besties?? i sincerely hope so..

  • we’re still together – o.v. wright
  • mary’s little lamb – otis redding
  • a tribute to a king – william bell
  • day tripper – otis redding
  • respect – soul centre
  • don’t say nuthin’ (valiant remix) – the roots
  • don’t sweat the technique – erik b and rakim
  • what you thought – dj premier feat. journalist
  • love and death and an american guitar – jim steinman
  • bbc blues – motocade
  • backass – karen O & peaches
  • driving me wild – lily allen & common
  • sunshine- Terisa Griffin (
  • i forgot to be your lover – william bell
  • wizard chess – harry & the potters
  • breakadawn – de la soul
  • surprise – luscious jackson
  • turfs up – beeda weeda feat. E 40, Too short, san quin, turf talk Hoodstarz & the team
  • everybody wash – bert & ernie (being very inappropriate in a bathroom together)
  • cold up in here – alaskan fisherman
  • sneaker luv’n crew – jade one
  • diamond sea (live) – yeah yeah yeahs
  • respect yourself – the staple singers
  • outtakes from V/O – william shatner
  • lucy in the sky with diamonds – william shatner
  • les poetes – vladimir vissotski
  • thuggish ruggish bone – con psy
  • boys (kimono kops) MIA


kia ora peeps! love and hugs and pinched bottoms from your pal,






TMC UPDATE…. due to the major amount of people searching for that killer MIA track boys (kimono kops remix), it has been decided that it should be readily available to download. for free! click on THE TRACK TITLE on the playlist for your MP3, searchers.. and let us know if you want any others..



Ms. Maya Arulpragasam aka MIA

Ms. Maya Arulpragasam aka MIA

(p.s. we are watching you!)


Filed under Cauldron News, Life and Times, MP3 downloads, Music, News, PlayLists, Search of the Weak

Search of the Weak


six pack face

a bit of both

search : “people with curse that make them look ug”

this was very difficult.

tmc ultimately felt the searcher is best to go here and keep looking.

if anyone else has a suggestion where the searcher can find ‘people with curse that make them look ug’ please help.


search : “face muscles”

the gun show

Below are some exercises for your face. You will impress the ladies with these !

Place your index fingers just above your eyes :O pull down while trying to raise your eyebrows – repeat 10 times. you must wear underwear while performing this exercise.

Eyes and Crows Feet
Try raising your lower eyelids without moving your upper ones – repeat 10 times. if it helps then imagine that you are very evil and naughty, or renee zellweger.

Push your lips out and make a round shape, stretching forward, now smile as wide as possible – hold for a second and resume the round shape – repeat 10 times. this exercise only works on the bus.

1) Suck on your finger as hard as possible and then slowly remove it – repeat 10 times. try it in the sauna. ha ha ha ha.

2) hide your teeth with your lips and then make a small ‘O’ shape, keeping the lips as tense as possible smile as wide as possible. try this one at the rest home !

these exersises will put you well on your way to wearing all the small hats in the shop.

face by numbers

this concludes this weeks helpful solutions to the magic cauldrons most pertculiar search terms.

you are welcome,

mitties, on behalf of the magic cauldron security and public service desk.

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Search of the Weak

Every so often, children of the internut will get lost on their way from a to b.

those determined to carve their own slice of information from this world, those attempting to make contact with other dr quinn medicine woman fan-fic writers, and those hoping for some pretty pictures to look at before Mum gets home, often end up right here, at the magic cauldron.

but it is not googles fault that we are so magnetising !

To make things fair, Shenanigans and myself will be listing the best search terms that inadvertently lead to our site. And make suggestions on where they should have gone instead.

This first installment begins with two search terms which captured the imagination of my imagination.

“I am so hungry I might even die”

eat up


Lack of Hunger Relief




“yiddish magical shows”


the magic mirror


Lakho, lakhee” she says. “Alacazoo.” Ah yes — from all the famous Yiddish magic shows! “Now I pull a rabbit from my own tuckus. Alacazoo!





any more suggestions?

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