Category Archives: Life and Times

the true stories of mittins and shenanigans

Christhams Eve Cauldron Special !

xmas mitties

The Magic Cauldron this morning was a Christhams Eve Extravaganza, with Mitties joined by old friand (and caretaker of our sister show on Thursday Nights), Jarrod !

If you want to hear Christhams songs, Mittins Christhams Tale, an authentic telephone conversation with Santa Claus, and the never heard before Christhams Rap performed by Mitties & Jarrod (from their forthcoming album) you should click here right now !

Our Playlist:

Whats This – Jack o Lantern

Christmas in the City – Marvin Gaye

This Christmas – Donny Hathaway

Little Drummer Boy – Johnny Cash

Soulful Christmas – James Brown

Jesus Christ – Big Star

Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’ – Sir Mack Rice

A Holiday Wish – Steve Martin

Feliz Navidad – Reggae Christhams !

Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto – James Brown

Last Christhams – George Michael

Mary Christhams Story. by Mittins. (you can read it here)

You’re All I Want For Christmas – Brook Benton

A New Deal For Christhams – from ‘Annie’ the Musical !

Jingle Bells – The George Mitchell Minstrels

Santa Interview !

Christmas In Hollis – Run DMC

Mary Christhams Rap ! by Mittins.

Snoopys Xmas – The Royal Guardsmen

Merry Christmas Santa (You’re a Lovely Guy) – Max Headroom

Jingle Bells – Nat King Cole

Muppet Christhams – The Muppets

12 Days of Christhams – John Denver & The Muppets

Mary Christhams to everybady who ever came here or still does, sorry it has been so infrequent the past few months.

mary xhams friand
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Christhams Countdown : Dec 23

mittins is an elf

Mary Christhams Story. by Mittins.

once upon a time livesd a baby wizard called mittins. mittins was glorious and also very good at everything. mittins favourite was chritshams ! and every time, mittins worked very very hard for being ready for christhams.

this year was no different. mittins wore teh christhams outfit everyaday and built toys. at the end of the day mittins would be so tired, and mittins lungs would be filled with poiosonous fumes so mittins would drink a glass of water and go to bed and motar would shake mittins awake in the morning and mitins would take new pills.

then on chrithams eve, mittins worked so hard that it was eleven thirty in the night and mittins was still awake ! “oh no” thought mmittins, “i need to be in bed before midnight or santa will catch me and put me in his sack and give me to angelina jolie for christhams !” so mittins worked faster and faster and tried as hard as mittins ever could. but before mittins could wrap all of the presents, the clock struck midnight oh no oh no hoh no no no no no no screamed mittins !

but it was too late. santa came down the chimney and hit mittins on the head with a baseball bat. santa put mittins in the sack and flew in his sleigh all the way to ameraica and into alngelina jolies house. he went down the chimney and put mittins under the tree, very gently.

in the morning mittins woke up and everything was black. mittins was wrapped up in christhams paper ! “oh no no o h no oh no” screamed mittins ! “it came true it came true !”

“thats right” said angelina jolie as she unrwapped mittins. “you are mine now. and now we have to go and get our photo taken for the magazines.”

angelina jolie took mittins to the tabloid factory. mittins was very frightened. what would happen ! a man started taking photos. the other childran looked frightened also. except for one who had no eyes.

all of a sadden the man in the factory ripped off his face ! it was hennifer anitson ! “ah ha!” said hennifer. “ive caought you angelina jolie!” angelina said “what!” hennifer said “i riped off my face i am hennifer anitson !” “oh i ssee!” said angelina jolies. then she pulled out a gun and aimed it at hennifer.

but then cortuney cox jumped on top of angelina from the sky ! “i am hennifers best frieand!” said courtuney. “oh no!” said angelina. they wrestled. hennifer freed the children and they ran and ran. then hennifer started to pulls the hairs out of angelinas body.

“mittins!” said hennifer. “why are nt you running away!” mittins looked at the wrestling for a bit. then mittins ran and ran and ran as far and far away as ever was possible. and then mittins was home.

“motar motar motar!” screamed mittins. i was so frightened! “hallo mittins” said motar. “i am in bed watching television”. mittins ran under the blankets. “oh mary christhams mittins!” said motar. and they laughed and laughed. and then they had an icecream.

HTE END

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Christhams Countdown : Dec 22

There is nothing I like to do more in the Christhams Season, when i am not doing anything else, than check out some fine Christhams Ascii Art !

ascii
A little helper making toys !
santa ascii
Santa Claus !
santas angel
Santas Angel !
xmas ascii 1
Some people who really like Christhams !
snowman ascii
a snowman !
santas whore
Santas Whore !
santa ascii
Santa again.

Mitties x

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Christhams Countdown : Dec 20

christhams !

Everybady want a present, and love, but what did you do this year to earn Santas generosity? Below I am making my second Christhams list – all the good things I did this year. These are the things that put Mitties into the NCIE list. Also, NICE.

1. I got a proper job.

2. One time I saw an old lady walking up a steep hill and turned around to look at her and thought positive thoughts so she would get up the hill.

3. I Prayed every night.

4. I Stopped trashing the wizard gypsies, aloud.

5. I Cleaned my room.

6. I Caused littler trouble to my Motar (August-September).

7. I Smiled at strangers.

8. I thought alot about charities.

Even though I have done many many good things this year to make me nice and need alot of presents, it is always a good idea to do something very very good close to Christhams time, just to remind peoeple that you deserve the bigger presents. My very very good thing is that I am calling up all the schools in my area to tell them I found a small boys book of poetry. I found it yesterday in the street, and just like that, I has the perfect thing to do to prove to Santa that I am a good samartitsan.

cows by little boy
‘Cows’, by the little boy whose identity I am protecting.

So far I has had no luck :/ But I will return this book of poetry to its rightful owner. This, I can assour you. If I can get it back to him in time for Christhams Eve, even better.

And then I will receive so many presents I will grow three more eyes just to look at them all !

What has you done this year to earn your presents?

Mitties xx

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Christhams Countdown : Dec 19

reindizzle

What it is my friands ! Mitton favourite time approaches – Christhams ! Everyday I will be posting up a Christhams Treat for everybady to see, in the hopes of spreading my special favourite feelings – joy, togetherness, compassion, and money. On Christhams Eve this will culminate with a special episode of The Magic Cauldron, live on Fleet Fm, with special guests Professor Santos, The Fleet Kid, Hobs – and more to be confirmed ! Jesus Christ ! The one who was born on Christhams Day even !

Today let us begin the countdown to Christhams.

The best place to begin our talk about Christhams, is to begin to discuss our wants and needs for presents. Everybady has written a list of what they would like to receive for presents. If you do not write down a list of what you want for Christhams, you will not be able to remember, and feel angry or disaapointed ! And then the drinking wont be as much fun.

Here is my last years list, taken from my myspace account on Dec 13 2006 :

1. a new wizard suit

2. a tail that is white

3. a feeling of light silk sheets falling on my face

4. rocket boots that fit properly

5. a book about peoeple

7. infinity blueberries

10. one husbsand

8. assorted adhesives

9. someone to help me

What a lucky thing that I kept this list on the internet. Now I can see what a fail my last Christhams was ! And also, I dont have to write a new list. I can just add to this one.

What is your Christhams list ?

Mitton x

peace to the goodys

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The Bomb !

Nathan from The Gossip

Nathan from The Gossip ! Live at Kings Arms Auckland 09.Dec.07

Last night I went to see The Gossip play live at The Kings Arms. I could not describe this experience to you completely. It was the most captivating concert I have been to this century. To be honest, I wonder if The Gossip cast a very powerful spell over me.

Hannah from The Gossip

Hannah from The Gossip ! Live at Kings Arms Auckland 09.Dec.07

From the opening performances by The Hories and then The Coolies, the people gathered at The Kings Arms were hype. It reminded Mitton of being at a childrens birthday party. All the faces I saw were wide eyed with anticipation. Girls everywhere was giggling. It was not because of too much lemonade either. By the time The Gossip took to the stage, you would have sworn there was a lolly scramble about to take place.

Beth from The Gossip

Beth from The Gossip ! Live at Kings Arms Auckland 09.Dec.07

Nathans guitar and Hannahs drum kit must be married in music-land. My hands are too little to play the guitar, but when my headache goes away I am going to become a drummer. I could never be tired of listening to them play and to think that there will soon be a new album with another evolution of their sound is super exciting for my ears, and for 2008 in music. I will always have time to drink some margaritas and dance to their sound, with or without a vocalist. But.

If ever there was a Pied Piper to lead these Auckland children from pretension, her name would be Beth Ditto. It has been a long time since I have seen an Auckland crowd lose their cool, but it happened before my very eyes, from the moment Beth Ditto began to sing. Her voice was heart-breaking ! Her energy was a million times that of Richard Simmons ! Her jokes was mad funny !

We should all grow up to be a little bit like Beth Ditto.

That night, I walked out of The Kings Arms with a full heart. I felt happy and sad. I felt like a little seed of energy had been placed inside of me to help me grow. But I also wanted a time machine, immediately. I wanted to see it all over again.

Later, I realised if I had a time machine, I could also do other things with it. Like my cousin said I could go and invest in IBM. Or I could go back in time and not watch Boys on the Side. I think my first stop in the time machine would still be The Kings Arms on that Sunday night. Thank you, The Gossip. I hope you come back soon. You can borrow my time machine, if I get one.

The Gossip Live in Liverpool

This morning on Fleet I struggled to play anything other than what I heard last night, but you can have a listen here and if nothing else, roll your eyes at my inability to articulate like a proper growns up. May I also recommend you go to your local record store and pick up the new release of The Gossip Live in Liverpool ! I have been listening to it today, and so far it does not compare to what I heard last night. Ha ha. If you snooze, then you lose.

Playlist.

Back in the Saddle – Gene Autry

Made U Look – Nas

The Bomb – L7

Bigmouth Strikes Again – The Smiths

Are U That Somebody – The Gossip

Everything is Everything – Lauryn Hill

Rock Wit U – DJ Jazzy Jeff

Somethings Jumpin In Your Shirt – Malcolm McClaren

Go Fer Your Funk – Parliament

Yr Mangled Heart – The Gossip

Disco Peril – Kittyhawk

Motownphilly – Boyz II Men

Worst Comes To Worst – Dilated Peoples

Don’t You Pay Them No Mind – Nina Simone

Are U That Somebody – Aaliyah

Here I Come – The Roots

Careless Whisper – The Gossip

Silver Lining – Rilo Kiley

Mitties x x

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Sneaker Pimps !

sneaker pimps

Yes ! Mittins will be attending the above !

futura

Besides myself, legendary NYC artist Futura will be attending. Skilled in the art of art, Futura 2000 came up in the 1970s as a subway graff artist. Over the past few decades he has become renowned for his abstract approach to graff, as well as everything else he does 😮 Which includes, every now and then, designing a sneaker for Nike.

“I would rather be recognized as a productive individual, a parent and a professional. and not exploited with labels by those who choose to mininize and diminish. I’m not even comfortable with the term “artist” it just sounds so pretentious. damn. I hate that ball and chain around my leg; and I will never be defined by the opinions of others.”

– Futura 2000, saying something smart.

And now..

mittin dunks !

Behold, my own pair of Futura SBs ! AAAAh !

(this photo reminds me of how good they looked when they was new)

after partaay.

Oh and there is an after party ! Plus all kinds of competitions on the night – peep solejam.com for informatron.

Sew. If you are in Auckland, and have an appreciation for sneakies and art, or anything,

maybe you should ask your Motar if you can attend.

Mitties x

but what soos will i wear?

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