Category Archives: Fan-Fic

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FanFic : NZ Idol R18

long neck

watching pops ultimate star took me back to the heady days of NZ Idol – Cycle i looked into the old ahchives of my old blog and found this tits-alating piece of fanfiction. enjoy !

nz idol fanfic R18

one day before idol show began ben was in his backstage room, combing his long neck and putting vaseline on his eyes. it huert but he had to keep his neck long if he wanted to win the show. a soft knock at the door broke him out of his reverereie. “hallo is ben there?” ben knew that voice from anywhere. it was the little one from the top nine ashley. she had a voice like a roadside barbeque. and hair like golden syrup mixed with mayonaise.

“come in please” he said. asheley opened the door and her harrt stopped. it had been so long since she had seen ben because she got kicked off the idol show after people realised they didnt feel sorry for her any longer.

“hallo ben it is me ashley” she whispered. ben stood from his seat and pulled his pants down. they made a baby and named it jackie. the baby was so happy it had been made it ran into the fireplace !

the end.

i love longneck


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Fanfic Corner : Flightplan

fanfic corner : flightplan

by mittins.

jodie foster was holding her daughter in the room with all the passengers. everyone was safe now, except for the baddy who got disintiegrated. from across the room the captain of the plane saw her and sighed. she had been telling the truts all along.

all of a sudden the captain viewed her with fresh eyes. the eyes of a weathered old man longing to finally come home. was that ‘home’ he saw in jodie fosters eyes? he was so tired. tired of travelling. tired of looking and not touching all the pretty hostesses !

jodie held her daughter and whispered mumblings in her ear like “tay inna win” and “chickapea”. suddenly a shadow fell across her. “she looks just like you.”

she knew that voice anywhere. the captain ! she searched his eyes. he understood. the only one who ever did? no. “theres a little of her father in there too.”

the father was the one who made babies with jodie foster. he understood her, once upon a time. but then he died. all of a sudden it seemed so long ago, a world away. could the captain bring her back? i mean, metaphorically speaking? she was so tired. and as she lost herself in his steely blue gaze, he reminded her of her father.

“jodie foster, im so sorry i didnt believe you on the plane, before”. he closed his eyes with regret. “i know” said jodie “you were mean to me! but only because you are a captain and that is your job” the captain opened his eyes and they were glassy of tears. “it is my job. but it isnt always easy. especially when i meet someone like you jodie. you are so special and your eyes are so blue like the sky i fly in”

jodie foster was so thumpy heart ! “your eyes are steely blue like the oceans you fly over” she immediately blushed. “i mean, they are alright”

had jodie foster been hurt before? the captain was determined to find out. “jodie foster, what im about to say may seem crazy, as crazy as i thought you were on the plane. but, just hear me out, okay?”

“when you were running down the aisle of the plane, and i saw you, the blood all rushed around my body! i was so mad at you, for running in the plane, and screaming. you turned my world upside down! no woman ever does that to me! i thought i hated you. but now i realise, it wasn’t hate, it was love. jodie foster, you are so pretty and a good actress. will you marrage me and have a baby?”

:O jodie foster did not know what to say. had the captain read her mind? she nearly wet her pants ! “yes captain yes tha answer is yes ! i love you !”

the captain and jodie foster kissed and kissed. and the captain took his captains hat and put it on jodie fosters head. “you are the captain of my heart jodie foster! wear this hat!”

then the little daughter wriggled. “daddy?” she said, still half asleep.

jodie looked down at her daughter, who she had been so afraid for. “yes, sweetheart. this is your new daddy, the captain.”  “hello, new daughter” said the captain.

the daughter looked up to the old man and jodie foster wearing his hat. she gasped.

“daddy !” she wrapped her arms around her new family and they all lived happily ever after.


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The Curse of the Ugly Race

fanfic corner : the curse of the ugly race

the curse of the ugly race – by mittins.

one day upon a time, changler went to the cafe to get a coffee. but, when he got there there was no coffee beans left ! oh no ! he had to leave and go to a different cafe. but when he got there, there was ugly people in the cafe ! “oh my god !” changler said. “what is this race of aliens?” it was the race of uglies. and they came to find changler and his friends and d-e-s-t-r-o-y them all. they took changler into the restroom and put bees on his face. the bees ate away at his face until it was looking like a intricate piece of braile.

later that evening, at monicas apasrtment, phoeobe and joey was eating a pizza. the pizza was special, made of babies, to make them pretty and youthfful. also, joey was laugfing and pheone was playing a gatar. monica was cleaning. hahaha ! those friends.

the doorbell rang and it changler. :O oh dear god ! he was U-G-L-Y ! monica squaled in fright ! but it was too late. changler belong to the race of uglies now. he took monica and cut her nose off ! then he covered her face in sticky hot tar and cooked an egg on it.

joey ran for the door. but changler had a bag of old fat. it was a bag so big, like it came from a factory. he threw it on joey and all the fat congealed onto joey until he couldnt run anymore ! he was stuck inside of it ! like a big pound of butter.

the only way for joey to escape was to eat his way out of the fat. joey did it. but now joey was too fat inside and he died of a haat attack !

pheoebe ran out of the window and looked down at the street below. it was too far to jump. but she didnt want to be ugly. so she cried a bit. suddenly she turned around and there was monica ! she was a race of the uglies too now. pheoebe said “monica you are ugly !” and then monica hit her with a block of wood.

later that evening racherl came home from bloomingdales. what a day ! she felt like she was the most pretty of them all, even though she had not eaten any babies for a day or two. she fixed herself a long isaldn iced tea and mused over the days events.


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