Christhams Countdown : Dec 23

mittins is an elf

Mary Christhams Story. by Mittins.

once upon a time livesd a baby wizard called mittins. mittins was glorious and also very good at everything. mittins favourite was chritshams ! and every time, mittins worked very very hard for being ready for christhams.

this year was no different. mittins wore teh christhams outfit everyaday and built toys. at the end of the day mittins would be so tired, and mittins lungs would be filled with poiosonous fumes so mittins would drink a glass of water and go to bed and motar would shake mittins awake in the morning and mitins would take new pills.

then on chrithams eve, mittins worked so hard that it was eleven thirty in the night and mittins was still awake ! “oh no” thought mmittins, “i need to be in bed before midnight or santa will catch me and put me in his sack and give me to angelina jolie for christhams !” so mittins worked faster and faster and tried as hard as mittins ever could. but before mittins could wrap all of the presents, the clock struck midnight oh no oh no hoh no no no no no no screamed mittins !

but it was too late. santa came down the chimney and hit mittins on the head with a baseball bat. santa put mittins in the sack and flew in his sleigh all the way to ameraica and into alngelina jolies house. he went down the chimney and put mittins under the tree, very gently.

in the morning mittins woke up and everything was black. mittins was wrapped up in christhams paper ! “oh no no o h no oh no” screamed mittins ! “it came true it came true !”

“thats right” said angelina jolie as she unrwapped mittins. “you are mine now. and now we have to go and get our photo taken for the magazines.”

angelina jolie took mittins to the tabloid factory. mittins was very frightened. what would happen ! a man started taking photos. the other childran looked frightened also. except for one who had no eyes.

all of a sadden the man in the factory ripped off his face ! it was hennifer anitson ! “ah ha!” said hennifer. “ive caought you angelina jolie!” angelina said “what!” hennifer said “i riped off my face i am hennifer anitson !” “oh i ssee!” said angelina jolies. then she pulled out a gun and aimed it at hennifer.

but then cortuney cox jumped on top of angelina from the sky ! “i am hennifers best frieand!” said courtuney. “oh no!” said angelina. they wrestled. hennifer freed the children and they ran and ran. then hennifer started to pulls the hairs out of angelinas body.

“mittins!” said hennifer. “why are nt you running away!” mittins looked at the wrestling for a bit. then mittins ran and ran and ran as far and far away as ever was possible. and then mittins was home.

“motar motar motar!” screamed mittins. i was so frightened! “hallo mittins” said motar. “i am in bed watching television”. mittins ran under the blankets. “oh mary christhams mittins!” said motar. and they laughed and laughed. and then they had an icecream.

HTE END

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6 Comments

Filed under Adventures of Mittins, Events, Ha-Ha, Life and Times

6 responses to “Christhams Countdown : Dec 23

  1. Pingback: Angelina Jolie » Christhams Countdown : Dec 23

  2. romi41

    You are the most amazing story-teller I’ve ever come across, and even though I’m laughing my ass off right now, I SERIOUSLY mean that…your imagination is incredible; I mean come on, santa clubbing you and putting you under Angelina’s tree, going to the tabloid factory for pictures, all the children looking frightened except the one with no eyes?!?!?!?

    I DIED of laughter….

    KEEP UP the greatness in 2008, PLEASE!

    Merry Christmas Mittins!

    🙂

  3. WendySkeleton

    oh liek woaw, you look like a Power Ranger. Can you please teach me to become an awesome Power Ranger like you?

  4. Alyx

    BEST Christhams story…EVER!!!!

    Brad will be snapping up the movie rights as I type.

    Merry Christhams to you Mittins xox

  5. Pingback: Christhams Eve Cauldron Special ! « The Magic Cauldron

  6. life coach, what a wondarful thing to tell me ! mary christhams ! you are so good to a mitton ! i hope i can return to the magic cauldron in 2008, and make it greater. i know that with you as my life coach anything is possible !

    haha wendy i never thought i was a power ranger but it does make a lot of sense, now. i am not sure what i can teach you. i dont know what skills i have, except for that i’m always really charming to old ladies. and that is something which cannot be taught. i was just born with a fondness and affection for old ladies ! mary christhams.

    thank you alyx the clever ! i hope they do make this into a movie. i would like natasha from top model cycle 8 to play angelina jolie. i hope you are coming over tomorrow, im going to get mad drunk on pimms and i need somebody to stop me from trying to hold any babies.