I’m going to be rich rich rich ! Here is my ideas for being retired and sipping.
1. Make a restaurant that only sells day-old food. I call it the restaurant Yesterday. How does it work? Well, everyday I will go to other food places or if need be, the rubbish bins outside food places, and collect their left-over food. Or if Motar has cooked too much dinnar one night, I will take her left-over food. All of this food will be tasty and cost me notting, but I will sell it at my restaurant, to people who like old food.
You cannot tell me these peoeple do not exist, for I am one of them. Just the otter day I had a day old burger and it was tastier than it would have been brand new ! Also at the restaurant you can read yesterdays paper and drink flat pop.
2. I will make a new internet and sell it. It will be called ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not The Internet!’ = $$$
3. Skin Shoes.These are shoes that are modelled on the design of the human. The shoes will have several layers of ‘skin’ so when the outer skin gets dirty and scuffed, you peel it off to reveal the fresh as new layer underneath ! See ?
Oh shit ! New new new !
4. Baby Land. This is like an amusement park you can go to if you cannot have babies. There is lots and lots of babies there for you to play with ! There is Crying-Town and Nappy-Village and Vomit-Swamp. The best part is the play area but instead of coloured plastic balls to play in, it is all babies. Ha ha ha okay maybe coloured plastic babies.
5. Ceiling-Everything. This is built around my lifestyle belief that everything is better in bed. Even as I type this I am in bed ! Dr Phil is on. A woman has hit her kids. Dr Phil says “it ends today”. That is all well and good Dr Phil, but wouldn’t it be a whole lot better if I could watch you on the ceiling? That way I don’t has to sit up or twist my neck. I can just lie back in bed and look skyward, to my ceiling televison. On the ceiling, there is a lot of room for things. I would also like to play computer solitaire on the ceiling. Las Vegas. And read my book, about Yoko Ono. Basically Ceiling-Everything will become the central console for my life, and yours too.
What do you think of my plans for being rich? How long do you think it will take before I can start maxing and chillaxing ?
M p 3 z