Rich Rich Rich

I’m going to be rich rich rich ! Here is my ideas for being retired and sipping.

1. Make a restaurant that only sells day-old food. I call it the restaurant Yesterday. How does it work? Well, everyday I will go to other food places or if need be, the rubbish bins outside food places, and collect their left-over food. Or if Motar has cooked too much dinnar one night, I will take her left-over food. All of this food will be tasty and cost me notting, but I will sell it at my restaurant, to people who like old food.

You cannot tell me these peoeple do not exist, for I am one of them. Just the otter day I had a day old burger and it was tastier than it would have been brand new ! Also at the restaurant you can read yesterdays paper and drink flat pop.

yesterday menu copyrot mitties

2. I will make a new internet and sell it. It will be called ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not The Internet!’ = $$$

i cant blieve its not the internet copyrigt mitties

3. Skin Shoes.These are shoes that are modelled on the design of the human. The shoes will have several layers of ‘skin’ so when the outer skin gets dirty and scuffed, you peel it off to reveal the fresh as new layer underneath ! See ?

shoe skin copyrite mitton

Oh shit ! New new new !

4. Baby Land. This is like an amusement park you can go to if you cannot have babies. There is lots and lots of babies there for you to play with ! There is Crying-Town and Nappy-Village and Vomit-Swamp. The best part is the play area but instead of coloured plastic balls to play in, it is all babies. Ha ha ha okay maybe coloured plastic babies.

babyland

5. Ceiling-Everything. This is built around my lifestyle belief that everything is better in bed. Even as I type this I am in bed ! Dr Phil is on. A woman has hit her kids. Dr Phil says “it ends today”. That is all well and good Dr Phil, but wouldn’t it be a whole lot better if I could watch you on the ceiling? That way I don’t has to sit up or twist my neck. I can just lie back in bed and look skyward, to my ceiling televison. On the ceiling, there is a lot of room for things. I would also like to play computer solitaire on the ceiling. Las Vegas. And read my book, about Yoko Ono. Basically Ceiling-Everything will become the central console for my life, and yours too.

ceilingeverything

What do you think of my plans for being rich? How long do you think it will take before I can start maxing and chillaxing ?

M p 3 z

rich by the yeah yeah yeahs

the money will roll right in by mudhoney

dollar by MIA

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16 Comments

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16 responses to “Rich Rich Rich

  1. That was ridiculously hilarious! The illustrations were mad good!

  2. Oh Mitties! I need to wear sunnies as your brilliance is blinding. I especially likes the new Internet and Babyland.

    My restaurant idea is for a placed called Casserole. Everything sold is made in casserole. Tuna Surprise casserole, lasagne caserole, asian beed casserole…dessert? apple spice casserole. Anything can literally become a casserole. Anything.

  3. ha ha ha brilliant. you sould open your restaurant and then we can work together, me taking your old food and selling it in my restaurant, and you giving me your old food so i can sell it in my restaurant. win-win !

  4. My idea is to actually invent teleporters. Everyone talks about the day when we get teleporters but no one is actually doing it.

  5. romi41

    Hahaha, Mittins, this is the funniest list of things I’ve ever read! 🙂

    -your day-old restaurant would be a profit cash-cow

    -the skin-shoes are amazing; I love how you graffitied the one layer with “mittins waz here”, and then uncovered a fresh layer 😉

    -I would pay top dollar to visit Baby Land; and don’t be shy, i know we both want those balls/plastic babies to be real ones; you could replenish the play area with fresh orphanage babies…

    -I love the ceiling console; nothing would please me more than seeing Dr. Phil’s fat mustached face as I lay in bed…

  6. ha ha. i don’t mean to boast, but i think baby-land is on some next level oprah-type shit. if i opened up a baby-land in every state, there would be no need for orphanages ! plus there would be no sad old women !

  7. TimGunn

    Dear Sir,

    I would be very interested in working with you on your successful business enterprise. Please contact me at your earliest convenience.

  8. Sometimes I wish I could live up on the ceiling and have the lights shining up instead of down and have to step up into doorways. Like being in a sunken room all the time. Mittins, you kill me! Maybe people could take their babies to Babyland and leave them for a couple of weeks for other people to play with while they go on a bender.

  9. when i was littel i used to draw my future cars and houses, and my house always had an upside-down room ! i totally sould have put that on my list ! upside-down houses ! plus, houses with hydro-slides instead of hallways.

    good idea about babyland. it takes a village to something something.

  10. romi41

    If you opened up a baby-land in every state, Oprah would bring you on her show, and you two would cry together along with the audience, ’cause she’d be so proud of you!

  11. Deb

    The other thing you could add into your marketing scheme for Yesterday is that you’re totally being environmentally friendly by removing things from…er, needing to be recycled. You know, the 3 R’s, but “reduce” (the amount we waste) is the most important! So, even if people think they don’t like old food, you can convince them they should, to save the environment! it is a win-win-win!

    And, you know, it is about time someone went ahead with making the other internet. I mean, we hear about web 2.0 and stuff, but the fearless leader over here (bush) keeps talking about the “internets” and I had been thinking a village somewhere was missing a you-know-who, but little did I know he had advance knowledge of your plans!

    Bravo!

  12. yo whats a markaeting scheme ! it sounds illegal ! :/

    im busy thinking about making the other intarnet. i had this great idea i could make it out of old popsicle sticks. my uncle has a computer though so we might use that.

    also i want to make the internat with underwater casing, so when you go scuba diving you can still look at the tropical fish on the screensavers.

  13. Alie

    Wow… this site is approaching the awesome of Baby Land. Not quite, because I don’t think anyone, anywhere could match the sheer genius of a pit of coloured-plastic babies, but almost… almost.

  14. ha ha i would love to meet you at Baby Land.

  15. I think the day old food idea has been in play for sometime now… It’s called McDonald’s.

    But sign me up for a day at the baby land! I’m for thinking that would GREAT! well all but the swamp. I’ll pass on that one.

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