search of the weak (pt III): ellen’s girlfriend

guess what i heard!

i think it’s high time that our regular irregulars are put out of their misery and are informed of just what the hell is up with ellen degeneres, her sexuality and her subsequent relationship status. i’m not sure why quite so many people are quite so interested in whether or not she has a gayfriend, a splendid sex toy or a particularly expressive tumble drier, but we certainly do get alot of hits from you flibbertigibbets, quizzing the google oracles about just that. bless you, one and all..

ellen freestyling

ellen busting a rhyme

ok then, to the facts! i can confirm that ellen degeneres is a lesbian. factum. furthermore, i’ll let you in on the not-so-secret that her girlfriend is the unflinchingly lovely and equally comfortable shoe wearing  Portia de Rossi (noted for her preformances as Nelle Porter in Ally McSqueel and Lindsay Bluth Funke in TMC fave Arrested Development). Here is a picture of the lovely couple trying to enjoy their favorite movie, but having to tell the annoying people who keep chatting behind them to shush the hell up!

the happy couple

i have always enjoyed the comical musings of degeneres, as she is suitably whimsical and undaunted by the odd tangent run. if you have ever seen her in stand-up mode, you will know eggsacterly what i’m on about. now she has a TV chat show, like Tyra Banks the SuperModel does, but it’s plenty funnier. Ellen also likes animals, babies and baby animals. and australians, evidently, b’cos your one Portia de Rossi is from Melbourne. and there is another nugget of info for your archives.

just look at this pictue of a baby orangeotan. ellen would go nuts for this little cutie..

babbbeee orangutan

as an italian in japan might be inclined to say, molto kawaii



old man goat herder shenanigans, in better days



***TMC em pee frees***

lesbian seagull – tom wilson

i was dancing in a lesbian bar – jonathan richman







Filed under Cauldron News, Life and Times, MP3 downloads, Search of the Weak

8 responses to “search of the weak (pt III): ellen’s girlfriend

  1. i am glad we (you) have finally addressed this most pertinent matter. i think it’s important to let people know once and for all, the truth.

    also, if ellen ever hits her head and gets amnesia, she could come here and remember everything. you should also put that we are her besties and that she owes us lots of money.

  2. I thought Ellen was carrying Eddie Murphy’s baby? Did I get that wrong?

  3. mittsies: i like it! i wonder if we (you – she’d suspect me straight away) should bosh ellen on the noggin! and while she is KO’d, write our website on her hand, and BAM! she’d be like, oh what’s this? must be my address or name or bestie’s website..
    actually, i seem to recall that we are infact besties with her already, cos i sent her that email that time (you know, the one asking for money).
    maybe we should wait a few more weeks before bashing her on the head. give her a bit longer to reply. she’s probably getting the money together as we speak..

    abarclay12: sorry but you are way off base there old cork.. i think you’ll find that your one Eddie Murphy is way gay too.. but that’s a bit of a shame really, cos he and ellen would make a lovely little baby, and chances are that it’d pop out cracking awesome racing gags and witty & insightful observations..

  4. Pip

    Ellen = Nelle backwards. And Portia played Nelle…whoa….eerie…

  5. eggsacterly? you are egg obsessed.

    Ellen came out to Oprah, who will Oprah come out to?

  6. if oprah come out she should ask queen latifah.

  7. romi41

    Is that a baby orangutan, or is that the first photo of Eddie and Scary’s young one? No wonder he won’t admit it’s his…

  8. Pip

    Oprah not gay. I know this for fact.