Monthly Archives: July 2007

search of the weak (pt III): ellen’s girlfriend

guess what i heard!

i think it’s high time that our regular irregulars are put out of their misery and are informed of just what the hell is up with ellen degeneres, her sexuality and her subsequent relationship status. i’m not sure why quite so many people are quite so interested in whether or not she has a gayfriend, a splendid sex toy or a particularly expressive tumble drier, but we certainly do get alot of hits from you flibbertigibbets, quizzing the google oracles about just that. bless you, one and all..

ellen freestyling

ellen busting a rhyme

ok then, to the facts! i can confirm that ellen degeneres is a lesbian. factum. furthermore, i’ll let you in on the not-so-secret that her girlfriend is the unflinchingly lovely and equally comfortable shoe wearing  Portia de Rossi (noted for her preformances as Nelle Porter in Ally McSqueel and Lindsay Bluth Funke in TMC fave Arrested Development). Here is a picture of the lovely couple trying to enjoy their favorite movie, but having to tell the annoying people who keep chatting behind them to shush the hell up!

the happy couple

i have always enjoyed the comical musings of degeneres, as she is suitably whimsical and undaunted by the odd tangent run. if you have ever seen her in stand-up mode, you will know eggsacterly what i’m on about. now she has a TV chat show, like Tyra Banks the SuperModel does, but it’s plenty funnier. Ellen also likes animals, babies and baby animals. and australians, evidently, b’cos your one Portia de Rossi is from Melbourne. and there is another nugget of info for your archives.

just look at this pictue of a baby orangeotan. ellen would go nuts for this little cutie..

babbbeee orangutan

as an italian in japan might be inclined to say, molto kawaii



old man goat herder shenanigans, in better days



***TMC em pee frees***

lesbian seagull – tom wilson

i was dancing in a lesbian bar – jonathan richman






Filed under Cauldron News, Life and Times, MP3 downloads, Search of the Weak

cakes makes mates

jaffa cakes

it was a lovely day for a radio. mittins was early. i, your very own shenanigans, was not. far from it. but i think i made good with some delicious McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes (thanks jarrod!). look at them pictured above! aren’t they just something? such is the way of things in this tipsy turvy world of ours. well, despite all this upset, TMC unzipped up it’s audio flies and unleashed a veritable torrent, a steaming stream of GoodTune on the loyal fleetocracy.. many was the listener who dropped an early morn coffee in shock at the sheer rudeness of the Cauldron.. we just don’t care how rugged our sound is. that is how we roll, baby.. et voila: here is the audio link and below is the playlist. pour vous. poor you.

jaffa cake diagnostics

  • street rap – mareko feat. inspectah deck
  • somebody come and play – sesame street
  • ocean – sebadoh
  • my friends – motocade
  • rapper’s delight rodney p, kano, simone, youngun, sway J2k, swiss etc
  • in the ghetto – dolly parton
  • don’t make me over – lyn collins
  • you got me – the roots
  • ever after – bob james
  • nautilus – bob james
  • eleanor rigby – el chicano
  • supahero – aceylone
  • the motor booty affair – parliament
  • lost in your eyes – debbie gibson
  • fighting the nation – kano
  • i can’t seem to make you mine – the clientele
  • trapped in the closet – r kelly

If cats were born in an oven, would they be biscuits?anon

mr shenanigans

TMC UPDATE: the rappers delight D-Load link has been fixed up sharpish (it was really rubbish), and to show that i love you, i’ve added another ch ch choice choone:

the sun one – sun ra


Filed under Cauldron News, Life and Times, MP3 downloads, Music, News, PlayLists

Spiceworld Part 6

Things really start to HEAT UP in part 6 of Spiceworld, brought to you by The Magic Cauldron, and also someone who posted it on YouTube.

In Part 6, The Spice Girls save drowning children. Sporty gets all butch with it. Thats just her. Who else was going to dive in to that icy cold water – Baby? Bitch please.

Then the Spice Girls have a big fight with their manager. Posh uses her best acting technique, pointing while speaking. Throughout the movie take a drink each time you see Posh point her finger. Seeing Posh like this is bringing back old memories. Where did it all go so horribly wrong. Posh was once the best kept secret of the Spice Girls. How I wish she would eat some pies.

1 Comment

Filed under Ha-Ha, Music

The Clientele !


The Clientele are playing New Zealand tonight and tomorrow. I probababaly won’t be able to go see them. Motar says I am not allowed, I just know it.

30 July 2007 – Kings Arms Tavern, Auckland

31 July 2007 – San Francisco Bathhouse, Wellington


Tickets for both shows are $25 and available from Real Groovy (Auckland) and Slow Boat Records (Wellington). Support is from Robert Scott (The Clean/The Bats).

The Clientele

Comments Off on The Clientele !

Filed under Events, Music, News

Spiceworld Part 5

A few notes on part 5 of The Magic Cauldrons cinema showcase Spiceworld.

1. I would like to see a Greys Anatomy spin-off involving the five girls interning at a busy hospital.

2. In the scene where all the girls get into bed with each other, Posh nearly kisses Baby and Sporty looks mad jealous. Its a hot hot hot scene.

3. When I can’t sleep because of nightmares, I wish I had a special friend to talk to.

4. If you look closely towards the end of the clip you can see Posh smile. It is so endearing.

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Filed under Ha-Ha, Music

That Ho Was Me !

pause on that shit

It’s finally happening ! R Kelly is making ten more chapters of Trapped in the Closet !

2 years after chapter twelves shocking revelation “that ho was me !”

click here to see the prooof!

i think a tear just fell up out my eye !


Filed under Ha-Ha, Music, News

no shame in my game

killer radio show last night people! you had to be there i guess, or maybe not, cos you can listen up in here..

the bogs

check the track listing for a rundown of the awsomeness that was going on up at fleet, 7 till 9pm last night!

  • maryjuhana – richie spice
  • burnin’ & lootin’ – bob marley & the roots
  • people don’t know – roll deep
  • bills bills bills – d. child y’all
  • shenanigans – timbaland
  • don’t say nothin’ (valiant remix) – the roots
  • reload it – kano
  • impact – materia
    when the sun goes down (dilinger rmx) -adam f & DJ fresh
  • liberation conversation – marlena shaw
  • grandma’s hands – bill withers
  • come here my dear feat. MED – Dudley Perkins
  • after the laughter comes tears – wendy rene
  • fire – leathal bizzle
  • lucky star – madds
  • contact high – ike & tina turner
  • graffitti – maximo park
  • respect – otis redding
  • crazy in love – the magic numbers
  • triumph of the heart – bjork
  • jackson freestyle – scram jones
  • one thing – amerie
  • the set up – obie trice
  • juice – erik b & rakim
  • funky cold medina (shakey face retwerk) – tone loc
  • sukiyaki – 4am
  • out of space – the prodigy

just a brief one today, suckers.. this man gotta work! (but check our newest page EM PEE FREES for some sweet as choice downloads y’all)

sad old ted



Filed under Cauldron News, Life and Times, MP3 downloads, Music, PlayLists

Spiceworld Part 4

Ha ha ha ha I just watched Part 4 of Spiceworld. You gots to watch this installment of our cinema showcase. The first part of this chapter is dumb but then the Spice Girls go to the woods and meet aliens ! I like to imagine this scene came about during a creative meeting with Ginger and Scary.


Filed under Ha-Ha, Music

Tegan & Sara R return!

if i was in the band it would be called tegan & sara & mittins

If you ever had a band come to your town to perform, but you didn’t go because you didn’t really know that much about them , even though you had free tickets, and didnt really have plans that month, only to find out just after they leave the country that they are one of the raddest bands ever, and put on great live shows also, and also will probably never return to your town, you will know the pain and heartache of Mittins.

But Tegan & Sara have a new album out at least. And maybe they will return, one day !

You can listen to three of their new songs from the soon to be released album ‘The Con’ at their myspace pageant !

PLUS ! The first music video from The Con is below.

‘Back in Your Head’ is directed by Jamie Travis.

The Con will be released in New Zealand on the 23rd of July. Oh shit that was like a few days ago :O Ha ha I gots to gets me to a music shop !

Your frieand and mine,



we’ve had loads of youse searching for T & S, so here are some choice cuts from The Con

-Back in Your Head Tegan & Sara

-The Con Tegan & Sara

-Dark Come Soon Tegan & Sara


Filed under Music, News

Eagle vs Shark.. (spoiler: the eagle wins)

eagle vs shark tix

Long suffering readers of TMC may well remember how excited your man with a plan, god damn that shenan, was at the Sbegining of this very month, when it was announced that Taika Waititi’s debut feature, Eagle vs Shark, was to screen as part of the NZ International Film Festival. (if you don’t believe me, click here, clicky)

well, last night was The Night. to prepare i had a delicious meal of chicken pancreas and onion pastry, so i wouldn’t need to be distracted with the need to munch olives & feta cheese thru out the filum. i wanted all my faculties intact. but i was anxious. i found it hard to sit still and my hands were all sweaty (OK, more sweaty..). i didn’t know what to expect, or even if i’d get a kiss at the end. it was like a first date. i’d bought my tickets weeks before, to ensure i had a Best Seat (next to a lady!) and by leaving my home early enough i made sure i was there on time to feel the electric hum of excitement from the patrons in the foyer.

The film was showing at the Civic theatre on Queen Street. to people who have not been here, i will describe briefly what a wonderful cinema it is! it has flamingos and peach stucco walls and stars on the ceiling. and clouds.. oh, it is such a lovely venue..

the loverly civvy WS

i’m not going to bleat on about how great this movie is (even though it is), nor am i going to break it down scene by scene. if you want a synopsis, IMDB it, fool.. suffice it to say that i was thrilled, amused, saddened and thoroughly delighted by the moving images presented. i think the fact that the director introduced the movie, like an old chum, and was there for some Q&A action after helped people to ease into appreciating this gem for the slice of heartwarming and hilarious genius that it is.

if you love what we do up here at TMC, chances are that you will enjoy this future classic.. support the NZ film industry and watch this at the movies when it comes out, you won’t be dissapointed. promise!

hei konei ra



UPDATE: we’ve had a bunch of hits from people looking for ‘eagle vs shark‘ quotes, so i’ve racked my brain and have dredged up a few classic lines from the filum! just a teaser, now…

  • Lily to Jarrod’s dad: “life is full of hard bits, but inbetween the hard bits there are lots of lovely bits. Jarrod is one of those lovely bits”
  • Jarrod to his sister: Bitch!
    Nancy: Cockhole!
    Jarrod: Bitch!
    Nancy: Cockhole!
    Jarrod: Don’t call me cockhole, bitch! (jarrod walks off)


Filed under Cauldron News, News, Reviews